I Could Never Answer the Door In Curlers, But I've Done it in My PJs

 


Back in the Dark Ages of my distant childhood, I always paid close attention to music lyrics. Still do. Nothing exposes cultural trends and norms like a period's music. I seem to remember a lot of songs from the 1960s (I was precocious child, of course : ) proclaiming the virtues of a woman looking good for her man. Think Streisand, Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Mel Torme, Julie London, etc. Classics, all.

For most of my life, I thought it was pretty much my marital duty not to hang about or even work in sweats, etc. (Post-babies doesn't count!) I didn't even let P see me in a shower cap until about five years ago, and I rarely spent the day in jammies, even when I was sick. I found out through therapy that this wasn't necessarily a good thing--It's actually kind of considered a dreaded issue. P can attest that I eventually became much more relaxed about such things. But it was tough to find a balance between obsession, vanity and common sense.

One of my homemaking heroes, Flylady, is adamant about the need to get up and moving and dressed "to the shoes" everyday. She doesn't encourage a girl to get all dolled up, but just to put on something attractive and comfortable and to fix one's makeup and hair. That way, a woman is ready for anything life might throw at her. It makes a huge amount of sense for me, given that I'm likely to have to face any number of delivery people if I'm home all day. And I don't want to be too schlubby when I pick up Bengal at school, have lunch with P or a friend, or shop at the mothership.

I must say that one of the things I've enjoyed about this project is learning that it's fun to accessorize on a daily basis and be able to look in the mirror at random times to see that I have my game face on. For whatever reason, I associate being "dressed to the shoes" with being a grown up. I can't ever remember seeing my mother in pajamas after 8:30 in the morning. Now, I see so many women (and not just on reality television) who seem to be at odds with their age, dressing in clothes from the juniors department, or showing waaaaay too much sagging skin. A part of me wants to applaud their bravado. Another part of me wants to take them aside and have a heart-to-heart about dignity. 

It is a question of balance, I think. Being a dignified member of a community as well as being an individual who's secure enough in her persona to say, "really, it's a wear-a-yellow-tube-top kind of day, and I don't care who knows it!"

Thoughts?


Day 131. Not such a great picture day. Spent the whole day writing in cozy writing clothes. (Ironic, huh?) And no makeup.

Day 132:

This is now one of my favorite pictures because my own Bengal took it. (My mother once said that ten year-old boys are among the sweetest things on earth. She's absolutely right.) We're in the parking lot of Sam's Club, after church. Bless his heart, he lets me drag him everywhere and he's even gotten quite vocal about what he thinks looks good, and what he doesn't care for. 

The black Norma Kamali sweater is baggy for a size medium. It looks adorable with leggings on the website model, but no one wants to see me in a mini-length sweater and leggings. Not even my DH, and he loves me a lot. Pants are also Norma K. I bought both a size ten and a size eight in the career pants. It's been such a puffy winter that I've been wearing the tens most frequently. But these pants have a stretch to them, and after I've been wearing them without a belt for a few hours they sag most unpleasantly.

Then there's the fading. These two pieces haven't faded horribly, but they aren't perfect, either. I felt okay while wearing this ensemble indoors. Sunlight wasn't kind to it, though. Everything just felt too baggy and bleh.

Norma Kamali v-neck sweater: $20; Norma Kamali Career Pants: $15; George shirt: $12; Earth Spirit shoes: $30; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $7; Allison Scott handbag: $99 (Sam's Club)  Total: $190

Day 133:

Oh, I do like this sweater. Norma Kamali does the batwing/kimono thing so well, but it's nice to see other folks get in on the style. I confess that the first thing that drew me was that it's made of 100% cotton. Hallelujah! Plus it's thick, not flimsy. Bought it in black, too. (Hm. Is there anything I haven't bought at least 2 of in the past few months?)

Funny thing about the Nine West jeans...One can't try on clothes at Sam's Club, so one just has to guess about sizing. I was so uncomfortable all day in these jeans and couldn't figure out why. When I took them off, I realized I was wearing the sixes instead of the eights. Whew.

Grace Elements sweater: $20 (Sam's); Chaus turtleneck: $8 (Sam's); Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's); Earth Spirit shoes: $30; White Stag necklace: $7; Earrings: $35  Total $117

Hope you have a fabulous week!

P.S. See all those boxes on the floor by my feet? They're filled with tons of new books released in the past year. I'm desperate to give many of them away. So, with every five new followers, I'm going to have a drawing to give five away! Did I mention I have many, many fabulous mystery/thrillers just waiting to be mailed? Oh, and just because Carrie thinks chocolate is an excellent idea, I'll randomly give some of that away, too.

Pebble Pleather, P.V.C., and Some Big Bad Leather

Shoes and handbags. *sigh* It's been a frustrating four and a half months.

One of the keys to my staying relatively sane in this project has been to try to make sure that when I leave the house I'm looking fairly put-together. And that means not wearing, for example, a brown coat, black shoes and a brown bag. Or tennis shoes with my leather jacket. Some things are just...not right. As you can tell from my last post, I tend to have just a couple of high-quality everyday bags (most often the Brahmin) that I use most often, then fill in with special bags on special occasions.

Many women have a different bag for every outfit, but that has never been my style. Why not? I have no moral or style-related objections to owning many bags. It's that I'm incredibly LAZY when it comes to switching purses. I'm not even going to tell you how much stuff I carry in my purse. Some time ago, my baby sister sent me a darling 3 x 4 Vera Bradley zippered change purse. Do I use it just for change? No. I put all the cards and cash I'm most likely to use around town in it, and then I have TWO business card cases for all my other cards (Ins., Staples, Best Buy, Kroger, Buckle rewards, shipping punch card, Barnes and Noble discount, etc.) It's ludicrous. I need a wallet, I think. I've perused them at Wal-Mart, but I was thoroughly underwhelmed. Maybe I'm breaking my own rules with the change purse--but it's just always been there.


So, here are the handbags I've been using:

This brown, Faded Glory pebbled pleather is the first bag I bought. $15. Not bad, good color. Saw an attractively dressed woman carrying it yesterday. Has plenty of extra pockets for keys, phone, sunglasses, etc. Cute floral lining that actually coordinates. The black version was ugly and way too faux-looking. Only problem is that it's waaaaaay too deep. I'm always almost driving off the road when I try to dig out my lipstick/change purse/phone/hand sanitizer.

The lighting makes it hard to see texture on the black bags. The bag on the left is black pebble pleather. Like the satchel style; the buckles are a tad cheesy. It's easy to find things in. The bag on the right is smooth pleather, and I wear it when I need something a little more tailored, i.e. when I'm wearing black career pants and a jacket. Sometimes. Both $15, I think. Couldn't find a brand, but they're either George or Faded Glory. Funny--they don't even say "vinyl" inside. They're "100% P.V.C. (Isn't that what plumbing pipes are made of?) The one on the left says, "Dry Clean Only." The other: "Do Not Wash."

Weird.

Here are my excuses for evening bags. They're wallets. $10 each. But they're super simple. I like the copper snap style the best. The patent pleather is fine, too. Nothing special. There were fancier evening bag styles, but they were very preteen-ish.

Now, I do have a hobo bag I bought last week at the Maplewood Wal-Mart in St. Louis. It's To the Max brand. Very plain, coated beige linen, with a woven leather strap. $20 (orig. $40) But let's save that picture for later in the season, shall we? We all need something to look forward to!

Here are my latest purchases. Both from Sam's Club. If you circle around the jewelry counter at Sam's, you'll see a single case with three or four shelves of purses ranging from $89 to $150. Usually leather. Often they're...um, how can I say this? Sparkly? No. Busy-looking? Sometimes. Flashy. Maybe. I guess that's the closest word. They're not quite as obnoxious as some of the the Macy's/Dillard's styles that have 8 jillion buckles and tassels and brass thingeys on them--but close. Many are unusual colors. One that's currently for sale is faux snakeskin (hot now, isn't it?), and is so big that it looks like fifty snakes died for it.

Forgive the tassels on this one--it does have a fun, Pucci-style lining. ($99) I think that's one of the things I liked best about it. Also that it's leather. I've been craving leather. (I just gave away a gorgeous pair of suede floral Italian boots that were ages old--this would've looked killer with them. They were that special. Really. Loved those boots.)

I was satisfied with the light brown bag until I saw this one (below) at a different Sam's. ($99) Could've used a black one more, but there was no black. I succumbed anyway. The color is delicious (better in daylight than under my evening flash). And it's by London Fog (Weird--the raincoat people) so it's rain-resistant.

 

Conclusion: Enjoying the leather bags, even though I still have to use pleather when I'm wearing black. But even if I'm dressed in mostly black, a brown leather bag during the day isn't out of place. Did I mention the style rule that your bag can always match your hair, if it doesn't match anything else you're wearing?  It's a great rule for briefcases and computer bags.

Days 128-131:

I'm almost embarrassed by this extra-dorky pic. It's a tad out of focus. I'd just gotten my new glasses (for wearing around home so I don't leave readers lying everywhere--you know I'm old, right?) and got a kick out of wearing them. (I had Lasik years ago, but now I'm farsighted.) BTW-My DH says they make me look smart. Ha!

George sweater: $3 (clearance); George pale blue blouse: $12; Faded Glory jeans: $15; George earrings: $7; That Damned Necklace: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30   Total: $74

 

This is me in the middle of the book club I met with last week. They were so lovely--and lovely to me. Asked great questions. We all laughed a lot. That's me in the middle, with the book.

Norma Kamali red jersey dress: $20; Norma Kamali black leggings: $10: White Stag acrylic cardigan: $15; Faded Glory motorcycle boots: $23; Gold earrings $35 (Wal-Mart, too); George necklace: $7; Scarf: $5  Total: $115

Day 130. Hard at work at my desk.

 

 RL cotton sweater: $21; White Stag turtle: $7; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $12; F'Uggs: $30

Total: $85

Was in a funk and bought a ton of new makeup. I'm pondering a little how-to video--If I can figure out how to shoot it w/out my cat, Miss Nina Garcia, attacking the camera.

A big welcome to my new followers and anyone else who might be peeking in. With the addition of every ten new followers, I'm giving away stuff--gift cards, books, fun, random shiny things--because it makes me happy and I appreciate you all so much.

Go forth, my dears, and revel in your blessings!

Things I Miss: The Handbag Edition *sob*

The thing about being a writer as well as a recovering clutter junkie, is that pretty much everything I own has a story attached to it.  When I have time, I love to hunt down special things for special occasions, or spend hours or days tracking down the best deal on some unique thing. But I love it most when I acquire a true treasure--something that belonged to someone I knew or was given to me with love. It's also kind of a rush to buy something as a reward for myself. It's a good thing I'm more of a purse person than a jewelry person, because the whole reward habit could get very expensive very quickly.

Purses, or handbags if you will, make or break an outfit. I stopped worrying about whether or not my purse matched my shoes at least a decade ago. Now, it just has to either coordinate with something (you can always match your hair), or stand on its own when I'm really dressed down. On the dressed-down days, it's nice to have a bag that looks at least a little civilized.

I thought I'd break this into two posts--starting with a few of the bags I really miss.

#1--Needlepoint

I bought this years ago at the Discovery Shop for the American Cancer Society in Roanoke. It must be forty or fifty years old. Only just in the past few years have purses with carry handles really come back into vogue. I don't use this bag very often. I like to wear it with a simple black outfit--not necessarily vintage--and very little jewelry because I don't want to take attention away from its beautiful needlework. Needlepoint is one of my secret vices. I'm terrible at it, but if they day ever came when I was forced to do nothing but goof off all day, I would want to hit golf balls and do needlepoint.

#2--Small, adorable. I bought the straw bag on the left when my two sisters and I went to NYC for my middle sister's fortieth birthday. I'd always wanted one of those Nantucket bags--do you know the ones I mean? Someday maybe I'll have one, but this one suits me fine. Plus, it's so colorful and looks great with a cool summer outfit on a Sunday morning. The store where we found it had thousands of bags. We discovered it a few minutes after we left Ground Zero. An odd combination, given the somberness of the occasion. But sometimes things just happen that way.

Sorry for the glare on the second bag. I decided I wanted to get this post up and could only photograph after the sun went down. P bought it for me last spring when he was in Charlotte for a residency. It's a Michael Kors and is casual enough to be used for a ladies' lunch date or simple enough to be used for a light evening bag. I've only gotten to use it once. Now it's safely wrapped in a linen bag for post-September use.

 #3--Status bags 'cause they go with everything. I got over having visible designer names on things around 1988, thank you very much. It's a shame that so many purveyors of fine goods have to slap their names or graphic initials all over their wares (Do you hear me Coach?!).  But it's nice to have a sturdy, stylish leather bag. A bag that can hold its own when one is wearing all black or white, or a concealing coat, or a simple dress. Or even jeans. These are both Brahmin bags. I'd never heard of them until I walked into Dillard's about a week after I'd gotten my first check for my first novel and was shopping for conference/tour clothes (planning ahead, of course!). I have an alarming talent for walking into a store and being able to zero in on the most expensive thing in the room. It's not a talent I'm particularly proud of.  I love the bag, though. Plus, it goes with both black and brown shoes or boots.

I bought the one on the right at a Dillard's in Cincinnati. It was right there on the aisle. Forty percent off. 'Nuff said.

#4--Bags of the heart.

The Michael Kors is a repeat from above, of course. But it's both of the heart and a handy evening bag.

The bag up front came by way of a woman named Laura Brown. She was my father-in-law's English nanny back in the '30s and '40s and was with his family until she died in 1990. She kept a lot of things that had belonged to my FIL's mother (coincidentally named Laura Benedict), and I suspect this was one of them. It's lined in peach silk satin, and the design is black velvet. I use this bag all the time because it's unique and has an unusual shape.

The beaded bag is my most precious bag. It belonged to my father's mother. It's not an unusual example of a 1960s evening bag. The beads are silver and beige. The interior is satin, but not silk. The chain is fairly utilitarian. It's heavy, though. Of good quality. Attractive, but dependable. A lot like my grandmother, who managed an S and H Green Stamps store for nearly all the years I knew her. She and my grandfather socialized quite a bit and later traveled a lot. She was particularly fond of Asia, for some reason, though she was always a simple, strong woman at heart. I think of her every time I use it.

What are some of your treasures?

Promise you'll pop by my Notes From the Handbasket blog today and say hi to Kelli Stanley, one of my awfully talented thriller writer-chick friends. Her latest book, City of Dragons, is out next week, and she gave me a great interview telling all about it!

Days 125-127: I'm So Not a Graphic Tee-Girl

Oh, my. No picture for Day 125. I wonder what was up with me on Days 125 and 126? 125 must have been the Sunday I took Pom up to St. Louis to the airport. Really, no one wants to see me on an airport transport day. We always end up leaving the house between 5:30 and 6:30 a.m., and I'm lucky to get my teeth brushed. After we drop Pom off, I drag Bengal to all the St. Louis Wal-Marts and Sam's Clubs I can--at least the ones that are open at 8 a.m. on a Sunday. Poor kid. I'm sure it's some kind of child abuse. But I always end up buying him something ridiculous. I think he came home with Pokemon cards and a giant box of Moon Pies this time. (I know there are those who looooove Moon Pies, but they're just way too sweet for me. If you want to win my southern heart, feed me pralines, and I will follow you anywhere. Just saying....)

So, here's day 126. I had such giant Gucci bags beneath my eyes that I couldn't bear to face the camera. Probably wasn't wearing makeup, either.

IZOD sweater: $21 (Sam's Club); Nine West Jeans: $17 (Sam's); To the Max blouse: $3 (Clearance); F'Uggs: $30    Total: $71

Speaking of shopping, let's ponder some Norma Kamali. There's only one Wal-Mart store in St. Louis that I know for sure carries NK clothes. And you know that without the occasional cotton sweaters from Sam's, my awesomely versatile NK jersey going-out clothes, and my Norma K. French terry transitional wear, I would probably sit weeping and itching all day in a pile of pilling acrylic sweaters. So I really count on Norma.

But what in the heck can I do with these?

 

I do have the above v-neck in black. Plain. And there's my adorable "I Love My Dog" tee. But when I found the NK department at the Kirkwood WM, these tees were some of the few NK items they had. Comfort is important, and it's nice that these tees are all cotton--but I don't see myself spending all of the coming spring looking like an Andy Warhol painting. Plus, the cheetah's head would be stuck underneath my boobs. Awkward.

I did pick up this Jersey Tie Shift in a gray and black stripe, but I haven't even tried it on yet because I've been super busy. Plus, it's been a lumpy kind of January. It'll look cute with a cardigan, too.

 

There were no NK swimsuits in the store that I saw--but how cute is this?

This is cute, too--If you're twelve and have had several ribs removed. Why do I have the feeling that this summer is going to be even longer than winter?

Hope you're staying warm!

Hey--I was thinking about doing a thing where I'll give something away for every ten new followers I get. WM cards? Books? Chocolate? Any thoughts?

While I'm here, I might as well cover Day 127 because I'm so behind. It really wasn't a glamour week, was it? Ew. But Miss Nina Garcia is always gorgeous.

Sweater $17 (Sam's--forget the brand); Chaus turtle: $8 (Sam's); Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $35; F'Uggs: $30  Total: $105

**Clothing photos from www.walmart.com

Days 122-124: Overexposure

Remember when it used to be a novel thing that people would post extensive, revealing photographs of themselves or webcam videos on the Internet--like that girl who pretended to be a homeschooler, but was really an actress? I'm completely enchanted with Noah Kalina and Jonathan Keller who have both been taking daily headshots of themselves for years and years.

What a weird thing it is, to take pictures of one's self. I never gave it much thought until this project. Van Gogh's self portraits bothered me (He painted something like 36 of them). I felt sad that he saw such torment in his own face, and was brave enough to represent it on canvas. The impressionistic techniques can only have enhanced the brutal effects.

I love how intense and real these self-portraits are:

Albrecht Durer

Gustave Courbet

(Okay, he's a bit of a drama queen here.)

 Van Gogh

Paula Modersohn-Becker

People who have professional photographs taken of themselves--writers, politicians, businesspeople, celebutards, actors, brides--they aren't necessarily looking for reality. They want their best selves, not their everyday selves on display.

Photography is such an instant experience now. The digital camera sees every damn thing--if the lighting is right, which for me, rarely happens--and one can't hide a bad hair day, pimple or nose bump. There's always Photoshop for the perfectionist or the artist.

Regular readers will recognize writer Michelle Brooks's comments as coming by way of Michelle's Spell. With every wonderful blog post Michelle puts up, she includes a photograph of herself. They are usually posed, but delightfully honest and fun and unabashedly sexy (the girl can't help it!). She just doesn't have a bad picture day.  When I first started reading her blog, I was blown away not just by her writing (she posts poetry, non-fiction, fiction snippets), but by how brave she was to have all those photos of herself out there for everyone to see.

I read an interesting article somewhere online that talks about self-consciousness in photos--particularly in photos of children. Oldest children are usually the most self-conscious, their smiles often "fakey." They try to smile in a pleasing way, but they're not really into it. Some children start out this way from birth--others pick it up when they're seven or eight. I used to give Pom a terribly hard time about it--but of course that only makes it worse. And so the child has to unlearn it as an adult.

My particular weakness is vanity. I hate having pictures up that I don't like. It's as though I imagine I'll be in some political campaign someday or will have some crime committed upon me and the only picture someone will find is of me with one eye half-closed, or wearing a really ugly bathrobe from you-know-where. (Don't bother to look--you won't find one unless you took it one morning when I was out with the dogs. In which case, you're stalking me, so, go away!)

As you can see by the vast array of dopey, poorly photographed shots I have lying around here, I think I'm almost over all that now. (Still no bathrobe, though!)

Day 122:

I had to look at the date. We were near the end of a long work week. P was gone and I was single-parenting. You can tell by my shell-shocked look.

RL sweater (Sam's): $21, Miley Cyrus cami: $7: Earrings: $7; Faded Glory Jeans: $15  Total: $50

Day 123:

Here I am. Hard at work--bad hair and very little make-up. I really hate how flat my hair gets in the winter. Is yours that way?

George turtle: $10; Miley/Max Azria vest: $14; Norma Kamali cords: $15; Earrings: $69 (Sam's); Necklace: $8  Total: $116

Day 124:

Out with the dogs, Sat. a.m.

Misc. Wal-Mart and Sam's stuff: about $60, plus my cute red rubber boots: $25

Must run. I'm off to meet with a book club which just read ISABELLA MOON!