Days 116 and 117, Plus a Tornado!

The lovely Sally W sent me this amazing picture that a Sam's Club customer took a while back:

I'm petrified of tornadoes. They definitely top my list of least-favorite weather events, right above ice storms.

Thanks, Sally!

Now for something totally pastoral...This pic shows a relatively quiet moment, but the birds were mostly crazy at the feeders this weekend. It's warmed a bit since, and I'm hoping they've found water. I'm jonesing for a heated bird bath, now. Can anyone recommend one?

Day 116:

Am I a Good Witch? Or a Bad Witch? My Christmas gift from Pom. (No comment on her comment!)

White Stag cardi: $12; George turtle: $10; Nine West Jeans (sam's): $17; Necklace: $8; Earrings: $35

Total: $82

Day 117:

I wasn't looking so good. I bought a bright pink sweater that's the same style as the last post's broccoli sweater. Take my word for it--It was warm. That's all.

But I was wearing my practical, new Earth Spirit All-Weather hiking boots with rugged soles. So cute. I felt like I was sixteen again.

 

Boots: $35

Stay warm!

Coincidence? I Think Not! Days 111-114

This past Saturday night, Pom and I watched the adorable and ridiculous Confessions of a Shopaholic on our beloved Netflix streaming account. I've heard not-so-laudatory opinions of the book, and haven't read it, but the film was great fun. Fortunately, the shopping done by the character Rebecca Bloomwood is so over-the-top, that I wasn't too jealous. (Well, maybe just a little....) I confess that I don't own Yves Saint Laurent anything, and definitely nothing Gucci. I like quality, not necessarily labels. The difference between the two can range between the hundreds and thousands of dollars.

So my existential crisis and I decided to take our focus off of clothing for a while and look into freshening up some other areas of the domestic scene. I think that the film certainly spurred me on. So. Drumroll please..................

Ta-Da! I bought a big, sparkly fish:

It's just like the Rainbow Fish because it occasionally scatters its scales. But they're colorful, glass scales and glue back on easily. It's about 18" long. I like that it looks like it has legs. I think we'll call her Lady In Redfish. What do you think?

In case that doesn't seem like much of a shopping spree to you, here's a list of what else I bought: three dresses, a shirt, and a sweater for Pom; more accessories for the awesomely awesome Keurig single-cup brewer we bought ourselves for Christmas; a long candle-thingey for the dining room table; two nightstands, three barstools, and a small console table with six storage baskets. Oh, and a full-length mirror for the back of the bedroom door, a spice rack, measuring spoons and cups and two throw pillows.  *sigh* I feel better now. And I still only spent a third of what I spent on clothes for my first book tour. Best of all--I haven't been to the mothership or satellite since Friday! (A girl needs a break sometimes, plus Pom begged me not to. She went to Sam's with me on Friday and I think it wore her out.)

If you're a Facebook friend, then you know about the birds...On Friday I felt utterly compelled to go to Marion to the Sam's Club there. I had no idea why. I wasn't expecting any new clothes on the tables, certainly. (New: Appallingly pastel/white Izod pullovers with sewn-in striped dickies in Easter colors. Ack! Not even on the golf course!! Oh, but now watch--six weeks from now I'll be buying one from lack of variety. *sigh*)

So Pom and I were sitting in the car while I ate my Taco Bell Taco and small Pepsi (forgot to eat lunch), parked facing the east. I noticed a wide flock of small birds passing above us a couple hundred yards away. And the flock never really ended. We sat there for ten minutes while this dark, undulating ribbon of birds flew north. Don't know what sort of birds they were, but they were small. The sun was getting dimmer and the flock looked like it was coming more from the distant southeast, so we decided to go into the store before it got much later. The whole thing felt like a kind of miracle to me--I'm so drawn to birds. I'm not sure why.  I have my complaints about Southern Illinois, but I feel privileged to be living on the Mississippi Flyway.

Day 111:

Speaking of Sam's.

These separates are from a line called Travel Elegance or somesuch. They're kind of a rough jersey. Mostly I liked the color and the stretchy waistband of the skirt. The jacket has 3/4 sleeves ending in a loose ruffle (like the bottom of the skirt). It looked kind of weird until I turned up the cuffs of my shiny ivory blouse. The ensemble is kind of Reba-ish, don't you think? Boots were definitely the order of the day. Thank heavens for the scarf. I love the way the colors tie in. I was all dressed up for church and then ended up staying home--but I didn't change all day. It was a comfortable outfit, even if I did feel like my hair wasn't nearly big enough.

Travel Elegance (Sam's) Jacket: $34; Travel Elegance skirt: $37; George blouse: $14; Necklace: $7; Earrings: $3; Faded Glory boots: $23  Total $118

Day 112:

"Mommy, you look like a gangster." What can I say? I was really, really cold.

Miley Cyrus vest (I know.): $14; To the Max blouse: $3; White Stag turtle: $7; Calvin Klein (Sam's) cords: $18; Earrings: $7: Necklace: $7  Total: $67

Day 113:

Did I mention I have to close the door on the dogs, or they want to be in the picture?

Layered a turtle beneath the broccoli sweater. The sweater is not good, but it's cotton and cozy w/ the turtle. Please don't say anything about the hair. It was a loooooong, cold week.

White Stag turtle: $7; Sweater (Sam's) $16; Norma Kamali cords: $15; earrings: $7  Total $45

Day 114:

Another in the Bathroom Series. Forgot to take a picture at home, so I came out of the movie theater during the MetLive HD re-broadcast of "Comtes de Hoffmann." Wonderful opera. But, hey, I was in the dark for five hours.

RL sweater: (sam's)$21; Nine West jeans: $18 (sam's); White Stag turtle: $7; earrings: $7; F'Uggs: $30  Total: $83

Thanks so much for all the encouraging comments on my existential crisis. Your thoughts make a real difference for me. : )

Here's a pic of Miss Nina Garcia from today. She's home after having her lady parts altered. Poor thing.

Hope your week is full of warm blessings.

Days 105-110 and a Fearsome Thought

What if September 14, 2010 comes along, and I'm a completely different person?

Perhaps this sounds overwrought, but I think I'm having some kind of existential crisis. (I'll pause here so you can come back after you've stopped laughing.....)

The crisis really kicked in when I decluttered my shoes last week. They had been sitting in various piles or on shelves or shoe racks for months, gathering dust. I felt like I shouldn't be too close to them. It was kind of like junior high when I broke up with a boy, but still thought he was really cute, and the idea of being friends with benefits occasionally seemed like a good one.

As I sorted the shoes, I wiped them down with damp rags and a microfiber towel. I matched up each pair and put them into keep/give away/throw away piles. As I sorted and touched each shoe, I had to ask myself if the shoes would suit my clothes and me next year, if I had things to wear with them, etc. (This book has wonderful lists of questions you should ask yourself about your belongings.) I was stunned to find that I could let go of so many shoes, and not give them a second thought once they were out the door.

I'm not an impulse buyer when it comes to clothes--maybe I'm a little bit impulsive when it comes to shoes. But I'm not crazy/awful. Most of my shoes were obviously worn. The thing about buying really expensive shoes--shoes whose designs are unique and solid--is that you can wear them over a period of many years. I have shoes I bought ten years ago that are special and stylish and will always be so because they're unique. But there were just too many of them that I wore too infrequently to justify storing in a house with almost zero storage.

Now I have twenty-three pairs of shoes to choose from each day, and it seems like too many.

And the thing is...they suffice.

I have the black patent and red patent Norma Kamalis that work with any dress-up WM/Sam's outfit I own. I have athletic shoes for exercising, athletic mules for wearing with leggings and cute Norma K sweat outfits. I have F'Uggs for the cold and snow boots for the snow, and rain boots for rain. Black boots and brown boots. Brown leather mules and black. Hideous man-slippers for walking on the cold floor late at night. You get the idea.

To bastardize one of my favorite family sayings, "I have a sufficiency, more would be a superfluity."

So, what happens when my narrow options are suddenly blown wide open? What happens, months from now, when I'm standing in Dillard's designer dresses or looking at shoes at Nordstrom and I realize that I don't have ten different acrylic sweaters to choose from, but a hundred, or forty different styles of black leather boots with 1"-4" heels to choose from instead of two or three? Will I even be able to bear paying $150 for a discounted Nordic wool sweater on Sierra Trading Post's site (one of my favorites), or $75 for last season's $350 Donald Pliner's at my favorite, secret West Virginia shoe store?

As Tim Gunn might say, "This worries me."


Day 105. Ah, yes, my ecclesiastic/monkish look:

Not flattering. Makes me look wide as a bus. I actually started out with a black turtleneck underneath and no belt. DH and DD agreed I needed to go back and try again.

Norma K sweater: $20; No Boundaries belt: $8; Norma K shirt: $10; Jewelry: $14; Norma K cords: $15

Day 106.I was still getting over the flu, but it was a good hair day. It was cold. That's why I look so strained.

To the Max jacket: $25 (available online at WM--comes in several colors. Cute, but the matching pants are cut for Nicole Ritchie. Don't bother.); George turtle: $10; Nine West Jeans: $17; Earrings: $7

Day 107. No photo. Still flu-y.

Day 108. You know I want to make you happy, which is the only reason I'm showing you this. It was New Year's Eve. I showered at 5:00. How sad.

Faded Glory sweater: $12 (had hoped for warmth, but acrylic); To the Max jeans: $17 (redeemed the day, almost); Earrings: $7

Day 109. Needed a little color in my life and was in the mood for pearls, too. I was hard at work on New Year's Day. Thought it would be a good habit to start on Day One!

George blouse: $12; Scarf: $5; Norma K sweater: $29; Earrings: $5; Pearls: $18; Faded Glory jeans: $15

Day 110. Didn't take this pic until 11:00 p.m. HUGE mistake. I'm not allowed to talk to people after ten p.m. My dear friend Maggie made that rule back in 1984 or so. Still holds. : )

Norma Kamali sweater: $20 (still my fave); George turtle: $10; Earrings:$12; That Damned Necklace: $7; Norma K cords: $15

Almost caught up.

Be well. If you're having an existential crisis, too, feel free to tell us about it!

Thoughts on Sam's Club, and a Look at My Stack-of-Legos Disguise--Days 96-104

Have you ever been in a Sam's Club? If there's anyplace that exemplifies America's appetite for consumer goods and lots of them, it's a warehouse store like Sam's or Costco.

The first time I went into a Sam's Club, I was overwhelmed with all the STUFF. And it wasn't just that the warehouse was vast and packed to the gills with everything a convenience store owner or Kate Gosselein could want (okay, she's probably more of a Dean & DeLuca person now), it was that plastic-wrapped pallets towered above me, offering the promise of an endless supply of everything--and possibly eternal life--should the zombie invasion occur at just that moment. Birds make their homes in warehouse stores. You can find giant boxes of Mozzarella sticks or assorted Cheesecake Factory cheesecake slices. Or 500 tiny containers of coffee creamer in one box. Or a mattress. Or a ginormous bag of broccoli. Or a sixty pound bag of sugar and enough Crisco to power a space shuttle. Or extra-large boxes of adult or baby diapers. Or faux Uggs. Or one of those big, ugly janitorial brooms for your garage with a ginormous box of tee-shirt rags to go with it. Or a diamond necklace. Or Lipitor. Or Chateau Neuf du Pape. Or a container of melt-in-your-mouth hot ribs that you can take right out to your car and eat with  a Cherry Icee. Oh, and you can have spankin' new tires put on your car while you're sampling shrimp, stir-fry, popcorn, yumberry juice or ham biscuits served to you by (mostly) friendly ladies in hairnets. Phew!

If the word bourgeois leaves your lips with a note of utter scorn, Sam's Club is not for you. That's why I think so many people don't ever want to go into one and tend to bemoan the stores' existence. As an unapologetic capitalist and a birth-certificate-certified member of the bourgeoisie, I totally get the place.

Reading up on Sam's and Costco on Wikipedia, I learned that Costco is only just now beginning to accept food stamp benefits. It think it's a good thing, but if I were in the unfortunate position of having to rely on government food benefits, a warehouse store would be the last place I would go. It would be too depressing to have to walk by the pricey patio furniture and rows and rows of bestselling books and $2000 Go Karts to get to the meat and produce department.

No, Sam's Club--which originally opened to serve small businesses--is targeted happily to institutions and prosperous folks who can afford to buy in bulk and have the cash or credit to pay for it. I see a lot of married couples in Sam's buying that patio furniture or train sets for their grandchildren or a cart full of wine and cheese.  When they're done shopping, the get into their Avalons or Dodge Rams or Cadillacs (not usually Escalades) or tasteful Mercedes.

It's the bourgeois in me that gets a little thrill every time I go into a Sam's Club. There's always something there that I want, or can use. My Christmas list was pretty much all Sam's Club this year: the 50 piece Rubbermaid Locking Lids storage set; a lidded set of Pyrex bowls and pans; an Oster blender; wool socks; chocolate (if you haven't eaten an entire 2 pound bag of Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips, you haven't lived--I have, and now the entire 2 pound bag surrounds my hips). I already own every cotton sweater they're selling this year in every color.

I confess that I probably wouldn't have done the WM project if I hadn't decided to include Sam's Club. The clothing there isn't exactly designer--Sure, a few of the pieces have  CK or RL labels on them, but they're few and far between and less expensive versions of items that might be sold at Macy's. But it was that middle-class comfort I wanted to hold onto--just a little. Before September, I bought very few clothes there. Maybe a top I thought was fairly fashionable, or a turtleneck or two. Basics. All I can say is thank goodness for Sam's when it comes to this project. Without it, my entire winter would be spent in acrylic and cotton/poly blouses layered upon one another for warmth. (Let's save that for another post. But I just don't understand why WM doesn't bother to make comfortable natural fibers like cotton--substantial knit, please--or wool accessible to the masses.)

Do you shop warehouse stores? Opposed on principle?

And so to catch up a little....

Day 96.

Ugh. Total flu day. I think I'm wearing my "I Love My Dog" shirt because I felt like a sick dog.

Norma Kamali Tee: $8; Sweater (Sam's): $13 (?); Jones NY Brown velour sweats (no I wasn't going out!): $15; F'Uggs (Sam's) $30  Total: $66

No pic for Day 97. Just picture me in a bathrobe and sweats. Or not.

Day 98. This may be one of those pictures that will illustrate what a bad idea this whole project was. I call it my OMG-I'm-A-Huge-Block-of-Stacked-Legos Look. Would be darling minus ten pounds.

Norma Kamali shirt: $10; Nine West Jeans (Sam's): $17; That Damn Necklace: $7: Earrings: $12

Day 99. More flu, but I had to go out. No comment from Vinny Barbarino. (Go look him up.)

Jacket (Sam's): $79; Faded Glory jeans: $15; RL cotton sweater: $21 (?--need to go back and look up prices); Faded Glory boots: $23    Total: $138

Day 100. More jammies.

Day 101. Christmas Eve! Had to get my act together for parental visit and church. Unfortunately, it was an acrylic act. Bleh.

White Stag sweater: $10; To the Max jeans: $17; To the Max blouse: $3 (clearance); scarf: $5; Earrings: $7; Earth Spirit shoes: $30   $72

Oh, and the crystal bowl vase my mom gave me for Christmas. I used it just a few days later when my sweetie brought me feel-better flowers.

Days 102 (Christmas--sweats, meatball subs, much hilarity, chocolate and Wii.) -- 104. Absolutely not camera-appropriate in any way.

Exhausted? That's enough for today, I think.

Congrats to Margy on snagging the fab purple Joan and David flats!

More soon. So glad you're here!

Day 95 +++ A New Year Begins!

Don't you just love all the possibilities that a single change in the calendar brings? Seasonal changes--of weather, of emotions, of relationships, of wardrobes--enchant me. They always bring renewal of some kind. Change. I think I'm addicted to change. Maybe because of the whole ADHD thing, or maybe because I just like it.

I woke up sick with the flu exactly two weeks ago--the day after I got my H1N1 shot. I know that everyone says you can't get sick from a dead virus, but it feels awfully coincidental to me. I only started feeling better two days ago, when I announced that I was finally ready for Christmas to start. *sigh* I feel like the holidays passed in a kind of goomy fog. But we did manage to get up a lovely, once-alive Christmas tree that filled our house with real pine scent, and got to spend Christmas day in our sweats and/or jammies while we played with our new toys. I call that a success.

I have so many projects in the works....Later this week, I will finish the draft of my third novel. I'm working on a story for a fun Wal-Mart-themed anthology, looking forward to the UK release of the paperback edition of Calling Mr. Lonely Hearts and also the July publication of 100 Must-Read Thrillers--a book of essays in which I have some work. Add to that, my continuing WM adventure and a major decluttering of Camp Benedict. To mention one, I'm delving into my closet, reorganizing. I've come to the stunning realization that my WM wardrobe is nearly as large as my regular wardrobe--minus the evening clothes, of course. Shocking. I also took 27 pounds of shoes to the Goodwill. That's kind of shocking, too.

Here's the pile:

And that doesn't even include boots--fashion, snow, or rain. Or the 14 pairs of WM/Sam's shoes and boots I've bought. Or the thirteen pairs I found in my office closet where I kept the ones I only wear once every couple of years. But my shoe burden is now 27 pounds lighter. I probably should've tossed another 5-10 pounds. Baby steps....

Do you have long, slim elegant feet like me? I wear a 9 M. I have this darling pair of textured grape Joan & David flat loafers that I bought for $30 at TJ Maxx last spring and have never worn. Want them? Be the first to comment that you do--but you have to promise that they suit your style and you will wear them. And I want a picture of you in them!

Here they are:

So many photo days to catch up on...Though I will confess to many gaps. No one wants to see pics of me having the flu. I promise. And I lost a day somewhere. But one of my new goals is not to get uptight about the rules I make for myself. I'll stick to them, but I'm not going to drive any of us crazy any more doing it. (Okay. I'm the crazy one, but I appreciate anyone's willingness to share...)

In that vein, I must confess that I wore my pearls in the two hours before I went to bed last night. (I was wearing jammies and did not leave the house.)Not my $18 WM pearls, but the gorgeous string my DH bought me years ago when we were young and in love and not very wise with our money.  I posted earlier about pearl health. There's no way I'm going to let my babies die. And having someone else wear them so they'll stay healthy--well, that just doesn't feel right. Like sending one's only child to be nursed by a wet nurse!

Quick ensemble (also purple--must be in the zeitgeist):

Day 95 (I think). This is me looking relatively sane--In a woke-up-with-the-flu-feel-like-crap way.

Here I am a few minutes later looking slightly insane. I'd forgotten I had a purple beret. And I really was wearing two earrings. I swear:

Beret: $5; Scarf: $5; Jewelry: $7 and $7; White Stag sweater: $10; Chaus turtleneck: $8 (Sam's); Faded Glory boots: $23; Norma Kamali jeans: $15  Total: $80

I promise never to wear a matching beret and sweater again. They were just there. Really.

Have a brilliant week!