Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Every game has to have rules. Mine are completely arbitrary, but I've made them now, and so plan to stick to them with all my stubborn will.
1. I can only purchase and wear clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and non-optical accessories from Wal-Mart Stores, through Wal-Mart.com, or from Sam's Club. (It would be a shame to leave out Sam, since he's in the title and all.)
2. I reserve the right to call evening and/or surgical gown exceptions if warranted. Sam doesn't deal in evening gowns, or surgical gowns. I promise to look there first, though--just in case.
3. Minor and customary alterations for length and fit are allowed.
4. I reserve the right to occasionally whine (decorously and quietly, of course) if I'm feeling abused by the arbitrary nature and/or results of these rules.
5. Even though my local Wal-Mart has a hair salon, no one there is going to lay a finger on my hair. I consider a haircut a major surgical event--an extensive, delicate amputation, if you will. I know there are many talented stylists at Wal-Mart, but I'm a one-stylist kind of girl.
6. Year ends on September 14th, 2010.
7. The rules are the rules. No changes. Even on my birthday. And pray that my daughter doesn't decide to get married before she turns nineteen.