Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Completely Arbitrary Rules

Every game has to have rules. Mine are completely arbitrary, but I've made them now, and so plan to stick to them with all my stubborn will.

1. I can only purchase and wear clothes, shoes, cosmetics, and non-optical accessories from Wal-Mart Stores, through Wal-Mart.com, or from Sam's Club. (It would be a shame to leave out Sam, since he's in the title and all.)

2. I reserve the right to call evening and/or surgical gown exceptions if warranted. Sam doesn't deal in evening gowns, or surgical gowns. I promise to look there first, though--just in case.

3. Minor and customary alterations for length and fit are allowed.

4. I reserve the right to occasionally whine (decorously and quietly, of course) if I'm feeling abused by the arbitrary nature and/or results of these rules.

5. Even though my local Wal-Mart has a hair salon, no one there is going to lay a finger on my hair. I consider a haircut a major surgical event--an extensive, delicate amputation, if you will. I know there are many talented stylists at Wal-Mart, but I'm a one-stylist kind of girl.

6. Year ends on September 14th, 2010.

7. The rules are the rules. No changes. Even on my birthday. And pray that my daughter doesn't decide to get married before she turns nineteen.


  1. Hmmm... what about hand-made things? Technically I could go buy some nice, cheap, scratchy yarn at the ol' WM and knit you up a bunch of scarves and socks?? Bengal could fashion some jewelry for you out of Great Value tin foil? How creative can you get???

  2. This is hard, Branda. Does WM have scratchy yarn? Nora has been knitting a couple years and isn't particular--but I'm clueless in that dept. You, though, are a very talented knitter and I'd wear anything you made! But I guess I shouldn't. :( Otherwise, I'd also be buying fabric and having cute things whipped up by the wonderful seamstresses in town. Seems like cheating....

    Bengal is not happy at all about this. Blog on it to come!