Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day Forty-One: In Which I Become a Shopping Zombie and Stalk a Kim Novak Look-Alike

New rule:

I don't ever go shopping alone at the mothership without my iPod earbuds firmly ensconced in my ears and the music turned up to full volume.

On Sunday, I came to consciousness standing behind my grocery cart in the peanut butter aisle, mumbling in response to a man's recorded voice that was saying, over and over: "You loved Hostess Cupcakes as a kid. Remember the delicious cream filling? Your kids will love them, too."

Yes! Yes, I do love them! Take me to them, please!

Have you seen the video screens? They're strategically placed eye/ear level and play loops of perky mom-types smiling into the camera and extolling the virtues of hand-sanitizer, food wrap, mini-pads, brownies, detergent, turkey bags, diapers, denture cream, etc. etc. etc.

I don't mind the occasional commercial--even when it comes before a theater film. But I do get uncomfortable when my subconscious mind is subliminally hijacked. My big problem is that I zone out pretty easily--I think it comes from years of training my mind to slip into that place where everything is possible. I'm very open there. Vulnerable. Before I know it, I have a cart full of Twinkies, chicken nuggets, organic pomegranates and an eight hundred pack of clothespins. Or I get a call from my daughter asking if everything is okay and, btw, am I coming home?

So, on Sunday, I was not only wearing pants that felt like cheap pajamas and made me itch in uncomfortable places, but I spent about $100 more than I planned on food and left the store with three black belts, a questionable sweater, and this stuff:

 Haven't tried it yet. But as I'm lash-challenged, I will very soon. I'll let you know.

The other thing:

Envy. I'd noticed a particular woman in the store and saw her again as I was stuffing my eight hundred bags into the trunk of my car. She'd given me a rather cold look inside--not surprising as I was probably staring rudely at her. She wore dark denim jeans that broke just perfectly on her black boots, a tailored black gabardine jacket, a white blouse, and a red scarf. Her blond, bobbed hair was perfect, too. The effect was cool and polished.

She depressed me immeasurably. I realized that I was not only jealous of her gorgeous clothes, but I was getting angry with myself for being so jealous. Wish I'd taken a picture of her, but I'm sure she would've had me arrested. I love how dignified she looked. I, however, was not feeling particularly dignified.


I know it's wrong to be a hater. But I really hate these shoes:

They're shapeless and plastic and not at all nice. Well, maybe I kind of like the snakeskin pattern--but that's it. Hardly worth the $11 full price.

As to the rest of the ensemble: I refer you this link.  Don't know why I'm not in love with the striped NK shirt. The lines are too harsh, I think, in addition to being horizontal. Wearing the inexpensive black jersey pants instead of jeans didn't help my mood much, either.

Norma Kamali OTS Striped Henley in Cobalt: $12; White Stag black cardigan: $12; White Stag black jersey pants: $12; George Slimming Cami $10; Shoes: Earth Spirit Mules $30; Jewelry: $7 and $7 Total  $90

Good news: I'm THRILLED with tomorrow's outfit. Will post in the morning!

P.S. Do you have your Halloween costume ready?


  1. Do you have your Halloween costume ready?

    Yes! Jules saved cereal boxtops and sent for a blue Star Trek tee that looks like what Dr. McCoy wore in the original series!

    So I will be Dr. McCoy when I take the girls out to trick or treat this Saturday.

    "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a trick-or-treater!"

  2. My theory is that you should avoid the Mothership on Sundays. Also, on the first and third of the month and the weekend immediately after these two days. Fridays can be scary as well, but are ok so long as you exit the store safely before 5 p.m.

  3. Dave--Oh, I love Star Trek. Even the new film is fun. Hope you have a great time!

    Cin--I always forget about watching out for those days. Will definitely make a note--thanks!

  4. Follow-up: LOVE the L'Oreal Telescopic Explosion mascara. Better than Lancome, but does need to be combed out after right after application. Dries fast.