Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day Twenty-Seven: What I Wore the Day My Son Army-Crawled Underneath 10 Pews to Get to the Front of the Church

Yes, the title says it all.

As I was downstairs in the church nursery with my darling, incredibly well-behaved seventeen year-old daughter, minding toddlers and a cranky baby or two, my son was upstairs having a great adventure.

If I may say, "Sweet Jesus," I experienced one of the most horrifying moments of my mommyhood when a friend came downstairs to tell me that ten year-old Bengal was making his way to the front of the church by army-crawling on his belly, through and around the feet of the congregation. I arrived at the sanctuary door just in time to see him pop up in the second row, dart around the end of the pew (this would be in the center aisle), run in front of several people in the front pew, and sit down in the middle of it. Reader, I confess that I knew not what to do in the face of all the smirks, raised eyebrows, and nervous laughter.

 My first instinct was to march into the church, drag the child out by his ears, and move to another state. But God mercifully told me to run. Away. Fortunately, my daughter came to the rescue. I sent her upstairs to sit with the boy until the service was over. He's still alive, btw.

I could tell you more, but you're not here for the grisly details of such things, I know. It just tended to overshadow the rest of the day, the week, etc....

Here's what I wore for nursery duty:

I had planned to wear this shirt with the black NK jeans as well, but they were waaaay too long. They have to lose 3 inches at the hem, at least. I'd rather have to shorten them than be irritated about their being an inch too short--the Faded Glory jeans could all be longer.

I like the shirt. I've never been one for horizontal stripes, of course. Horizontal lines tend to broaden the body, as you can see. But I think the whole effect with the dark jeans is a little odd, don't you? It makes me look small on the top, but kind of roundish in the middle, and smaller again at the legs. Weird. Kind of like a stripy snake who's digesting a large rodent.

Also, the shirt is a little to low and broadly cut for my taste, so I layered it over a white cami. It worked reasonably well, I think.

B+ overall, despite the fact that I look like an unhappy wax dummy here. I apparently learned nothing from watching America's Next Top Model and Project Runway season after season. It didn't help that I shot this at 10:00 at night after a long day.

Norma Kamali OTS Striped Henley in Cobalt: $12; Nine West Jeans $16 (Sam's Club); George Slimming Cami $10; Shoes: Earth Spirit Mules $30; Jewelry: $7

Tomorrow: Off to Bouchercon! Still not sure what to wear....

Have a lovely, non-mortifying day!


  1. My kids regularly pull this stunt up until about age 3 when they start bumping their heads on the pews. Just laugh it off. Kids do this sort of thing.

    If anyone complains to you, explain that they can be charitable and do their Christian duty by helping you with the kids next week. Smile, and next week sit the kid with that person to watch for the service.

    You'd be amazed how fast people quit complaining when they have to take care of the kid!

  2. Hey beautiful,

    The thought of Bengal doing this makes me laugh! I love the image -- it seems right out of a really great short story. And I love the little girl picture of you in the last post. It is too too adorable! I also love the houndstooth -- at my next get together, I'm going to dress like Joan on Mad Men. Love to see a woman on television who is gorgeous and redheaded and not a size two. (She's the only actress I've heard utter the words -- I'm a size ten and I feel perfect at this weight.)